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Wednesday, Nov. 21, 2001 - 7:15 p.m. - No Symptoms Yet
No Symptoms Yet I realize that it has been way too long since I posted an entry. I’m afraid after the flurry of reports about preparing for the IVF and the embryo transfer, that now since I’m just in the 2 week wait that I just don’t have a whole lot to report. I’m supposed to sit here and wait and time is just dragging. I suppose that I would be better served doing something productive such as actually writing a journal entry only it’s hard to keep my mind focused and off of obsessing about every little twinge or lack of twinges in my body. That’s what’s disturbing me the most these days, the lack of any symptoms so far. I know a lot of people have said that it is way too early to experience any symptoms and maybe they are right, but I somehow remember having to pee more early on and noticing that my urine was stronger smelling. Granted it was a year ago since I got pregnant and at that time I didn’t record anything as far as symptoms or thoughts. I was too busy moving into our new house and cleaning up the old apartment. But I also figure that since this time around we didn’t just do an insemination, but we transferred 3-day old embryos, which to me would mean that I would be ‘further along’ than I would with a general insemination (ie. Rather than just being at 8 days post transfer, it would be more like being 11 days post IUI), of course, I’m not a doctor so what do I know. My RE doesn’t do the pg test until 14 days post transfer, while I know some doctors do it at 11 days post 3 day transfer. Either way I’ve got a few more days to wait, but as you can see I’m overanalyzing everything! Yesterday I had a pretty down day. I was convinced I wasn’t pregnant and that the IVF didn’t work. I went to the grocery store to get all our Thanksgiving Day shopping completed and I got teary eyed at each pregnant woman or woman with a baby or child in her cart that I saw, and I swear that everyone was either a mom or pregnant. Believe me, I was no fun to be around yesterday, I was the face of doom and gloom I swear. I was already imagining another Christmas holiday as a childless couple (not childless by choice) and how much it would hurt no matter how hard I would try to not let it get to me. Thank goodness today I’m doing a little better. I got a pep talk from our neighbor about how negative thinking will get you nowhere and can only be a self-fulfilling prophecy and just adds stress, etc. which can’t be good. Of course, he’s right and I’ve been telling myself over and over that not only will I get pregnant, I might very well already be pregnant at this very moment. I’m not sure I’ve convinced myself yet, but at least I’m not feeling as down and hopeless as I was yesterday. But in other news, I can’t believe that Thanksgiving is looming up ahead of us tomorrow. I must admit that I kind of miss that ‘holiday’ feeling of knowing you have 4 days off of work now that I’m not working at all. It somehow made Thanksgiving more special. Or perhaps it’s the fact that my parents and sister are in Hawaii and we won’t be celebrating Thanksgiving at my parent’s house this year. We will be celebrating with my brother’s family and with Michael’s brother and his wife, so we will be surrounded by family and I’m sure it will be a nice time. Being around my nephews is always fun and never fails to cheer me up. I’m baking two pumpkin pies tomorrow morning. Mmmmmm..I love pumpkin pie, but only homemade pumpkin pie. I’ve never tasted a bought one that I enjoyed. Now I just have to learn how to bake pecan pie, I’ve never attempted one yet. With Thanksgiving Day tomorrow, I think I need to spend a little time focusing on all the things I am thankful for and there are quite a few of them. Perhaps I’ll sit down and write out a list and post it as my entry tomorrow….
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