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Tuesday, Jan. 01, 2002 - 7:18 p.m. - A Happy New Year Indeed!!
 The year 2002 dawned better than we would have ever hoped!! The last few days my breasts have been feeling extremely tender, particularly in the mornings when getting out of bed. Today tears nearly came into my eyes from the pain I felt as I got up. Figuring my period should be due any day, but finding it strange that my breasts would be that tender, I thought “What the Hell, I have one more home pregnancy test, I’ll take it, it’ll be negative and I’ll start my period tomorrow.” As you might be able to see from the picture above (I realize it isn’t very clear, but there really are two lines there) the test came up positive. Can you believe after waiting for 2 years to see a positive home pregnancy test (and seeing at least 10 negative ones) I actually had to check the information packet to verify that two lines means a positive???!!! Then I took the test downstairs with me and asked Michael if he saw two lines, he responded with “Yes, does that mean your pregnant?!!!!” I responded with a shaky “I think so.” What happened after that is just a little blurry. I just know we hugged and screamed “Happy New Year” then I started shaking and walking around the house in disbelief and looked at the test again and again. Then I freaked out because I haven’t been on any prednisone or doing any heparin shots since we didn’t think there was any chance that we could get pregnant on our own and we were on a break this month. So I immediately called the RE’s office and, due to the holiday, they had their answering service turned on and the only options were to leave a message and they would get back to you tomorrow, or to leave an emergency message and they would call you back within an hour. Of course to me it was an emergency and luckily they did call me back within an hour. They said to come in at 12:30 for a blood test and to discuss what to do about the medication situation. I went in, they took the blood and gave me a prescription for prednisone (I still have plenty of Heparin left), then I had to wait 2 hours for the results to confirm or deny the home pregnancy test results. The blood test confirmed that I am indeed pregnant. My levels even look good!! My HCG is 149 and my progesterone is 40 (should be over 20), so I don’t even have to take supplemental progesterone. I do need to go back on Thursday for a second blood test to see if my HCG levels are rising as they should (they should double in 48 hours). I must admit I’m going to be holding my breath until then! To say I’m in shock would be an understatement. I still can’t believe it. To get pregnant on our own, after 1 ½ years of fertility treatment and a failed IVF just a month ago, just seems like a dream. It’s something we’ve joked about happening and how nice it would be, but never really thought it could happen. I’m pretty sure some residual fertility drugs in my system might have helped me ovulate this month (and I had hoped that I would since I did feel like I might have ovulated), but between my being so depressed and then being so busy with the painting we certainly didn’t do a whole lot of “baby dancing” this month. Michael even joked that he wanted a paternity test done because it couldn’t be his child!!! :o) Despite the confirmation from the doctor, I must admit I keep picking up that home pregnancy test stick and checking to see if the two lines are still there. It just hasn’t sunk in and I guess I’m not letting myself get too excited until after Thursday when we get confirmation that the numbers are truly increasing as they should. (I’m not even going to say anything to my parents or other family members until after we get the results on Thursday.) But the fact that we even got pregnant on our own just makes my hopes just soar that we will be parents yet!!! Keep your fingers crossed for us!!!!! Perhaps my journal will have a success story yet!!!
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