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Tuesday, Feb. 05, 2002 - 7:54 p.m. - First OB Appointment
Well, my first OB appointment was actually a bit of a let down. I mean I knew that it wouldn’t be a really big deal, but I’d been hoping that they might do an ultrasound since they had never seen me for a pregnancy before and to establish some kind of baseline or something. It was also too early to try to listen to the heartbeat, so it was more of just a review of my medications, a quick discussion of blood tests they were going to do, a brief overview of how often they will be seeing me, a pap smear, a urine test, and a chance for me to ask a few questions. I did ask if it would be possible to have more ultrasounds than just the usual 20 week ultrasound, but it doesn’t sound like that will happen. She says that it is an issue with insurance and that if Dr. J’s office (my RE) is willing to do a few more ultrasounds for me, that I might be better off having them do the ultrasounds because the insurance will probably cover it through them with less objection than through her. She said she’d have to be creative to come up with reasons to deem an ultrasound necessary. That didn’t make me feel too great. In fact, when I asked about the triple screen for Down Syndrome (including an ultrasound) she agreed that she would have me do that (she says she has all her patients over 35 do one), but since that ultrasound is done at 16 weeks, they might not do the 20 week ultrasound!!! This did not make me happy. I’m going to check with my insurance and see what my coverage is for maternity benefits. I feel pretty confident that my insurance is pretty good, after all, if they cover all the infertility stuff, you’d think they’d cover any and all maternity stuff. Besides to me peace of mind is key and until I can hear the heartbeat, my only way of knowing that things are ok are with ultrasounds. So I’m going to ask my RE’s office if we could continue doing some ultrasounds from time to time just for my own mental health. I think I’ve also decided that when the time comes that we can hear the baby’s heartbeat I will be renting a Baby Beat or some Doppler device. I was hesitating due to the cost, but again, I think peace of mind is more important for me right now than anything else. I probably won’t be able to rent it for more than a few months, but by then I’ll hopefully be feeling the baby moving (another reassuring sign) and hopefully by then I won’t be SO paranoid. It’s still funny for me to even be thinking in those terms. As I was driving to my OB appointment, it just struck me that I was actually going in for an OB appointment. Not a pap smear or general GYN appointment, but an OB appointment. I’ve never had one of those and it’s something I always dreamed of. I was venturing into uncharted territory for me. Territory I’d always been on the outskirts of and always wanted to explore, but never was “allowed to.” Then when I got there and everyone kept saying “Congratulations” it was almost hard for me to accept their congratulations since I’m still almost in this denial mode – like if I accept that this is real it will all disappear. Sometimes I feel that way when I go for a time not thinking about my being pregnant, I almost feel like I’ve dropped my “vigilance” and that means something will go wrong. It’s warped I know, and I know I’m not explaining it well, but it’s how I feel. I guess it is a good thing that I do go stretches without thinking about my pregnancy rather than obsessing about it every minute of every hour of every day like I did at the beginning, but it’s a little scary too like I’m getting used to this idea and setting myself up for failure. One thing that does help is the ultrasounds I’ve had, and the other is how “normal” all the Dr’s and nurses are being about this pregnancy, like they don’t expect a single thing to go wrong. Their confidence does help. One good thing about my appointment today. Like I expected they weighed me and took my blood pressure. I meant to ask what my blood pressure was but forgot, but was pleased to see that I hadn’t gained any weight yet. Granted, I’m overweight to begin with (and no I’m not revealing what my weight is), but at least I haven’t put on any extra pounds yet. I feel like I’m eating all the time, but I am consciously eating healthier foods, so I guess that is why. I do feel like my waist is wider though. Since I already have a bit of a pooch in front, I can’t tell any difference there (not that I should yet). My next appointment is in 2 weeks when I go in for some kind of information meeting with a nurse. That’s when I’ll get the huge folder of information and brochures I believe. I’m looking forward to it. I’m anxious to see what information they provide me. Other than that, I go back in 3 weeks for my 12 week appointment and then don’t go back again for another month! Uggg! Good thing I’ll be seeing my RE in between times for blood tests. Seems silly but it makes me feel better. This pregnancy fatigue is really starting to hit me though. After I came back from my appointment and ate some lunch, I was as exhausted as if I had just run a marathon. I tried to read a little, but don’t think I turned 2 pages before I fell asleep. I’m getting a little concerned that my husband is going to think all I do is sleep anymore. That’s what it feels like, but I did manage to get our laundry done, our pantry cleaned out (my first FlyLady mission in a while) and roast a chicken for dinner! One of these days I have to mop the kitchen floor though. Yuck, I hate mopping. Oh and it seems there are some issues with posting comments to my new weblog if you are using a Mac or Netscape. Hopefully we’ll be able to fix that (or hopefully Jade will be able to fix that) soon. Thanks for letting me know and sorry about that.
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