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Thursday, Feb. 07, 2002 - 11:21 p.m. - 9 Week Ultrasound
 Today’s ultrasound was reassuring as always. Before I forget, let me give some of the details for my records, the baby measured 26 mm which is the equivalent of 9 weeks 3 days, so we are right on target. Best of all we were able to see our little one kicking it’s little legs and moving it’s arms! It was actually quite active. We also could see the spine again, but for some reason other things weren’t as clear this time. The best part is always seeing that little heartbeat! I know most of you ladies who have had children never even had an ultrasound until you were much further along, or maybe only had a few, but with all that we’ve been through, Michael and I so appreciate being able to have these frequent ultrasounds. Before each appointment I always just hope that we’ll see a heartbeat. I’m so scared that the next time we look there won’t be one anymore. After seeing it now for 4 weeks in a row, I’m beginning to finally feel like things are going to be ok. I’m not sure if I’m ready to go 7 more weeks before getting reassurance that my baby is still alive, however, which is what would happen if it were up to the OB. Thank goodness when I talked with the nurse at my RE’s office and explained that we wouldn’t be getting any other ultrasounds other than either the 16 week one (for Down Syndrome screening) or the 20 week ultrasound, she told me that we were welcome to come back for an ultrasound at their office whenever we wanted to. I told her that I was worried that I was getting on their nerves since there is no reason for our ultrasounds other than peace of mind at this point, but she assured me that that wasn’t the case and that they enjoyed doing them too. She said it was just as fun for them to see the little ones as for us! It made me feel much better about calling and asking for the next ultrasound, though I’m going to try to go for 10 days between this time. (I’m trying to wean myself from them a little.) She also said that once I started to feel the baby, I probably wouldn’t feel as anxious about the pregnancy either. In the meantime, these ultrasounds are SO nice to have. As I’ve said many times before, I just don’t feel pregnant. I don’t really feel any different. I’m not having any cramping or feeling any “stretching” of my uterus or any of the subtle signs that might reassure me that my pregnancy is continuing to develop as is normal. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that I’m not suffering any morning sickness, but at least then I’d have some ‘proof’ that there was a baby in there. Heck, I don’t even have any food aversions like most women do who don’t have morning sickness. I seem to be hungry more often and I’m often tired, but neither of those things are constant. They kind of come and go, so they still don’t seem like “pregnancy” symptoms. So the only way that I get any reassurance that there really is a baby in there, is through these ultrasounds. At least until I get to the point that I can hear the baby’s heartbeat with a doppler. Well, that’s all the news today. Oh, I also told my parents that if they wanted to start to share the good news with their friends that they could. My mom has been chomping at the bit to tell some of her friends, since many of them are always asking about how things are going for us. I talked with my mom today and she’s already called and told a number of people and is having such a fun time doing so! I told them they could go ahead, because I just finished typing out our much belated “Christmas Year-End” letter and decided to go ahead and share the news in the letter. I figure if something happens at this point, people would find out about it anyway, so why not share good news instead of bad. Although most people say 12 weeks is a “safe” point, in actuality something can happen at any time during a pregnancy, particularly with my issues. Besides, I have a favorite uncle in Germany who is very ill right now and who always asks as the first question “How is little Heidi? Any good news?” I wanted my mom to be able to call him and give him the good news which she did and he was totally thrilled. That makes me happy. I’d love to know our news put a smile on his face. I love that man, I just hope he gets well and comes to see my little one as he said he would if his health improves.
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