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Monday, Mar. 25, 2002 - 9:49 a.m. - Water Aerobics
Last night while I was using my BabyBeat, rather than listening to the heartbeat much (after making sure it was there – lately I feel like I’m chasing my Peep around my stomach to catch the heartbeat for any length of time), I spent the majority of the time listening to the Peep doing what seemed like water aerobics! I swear there was much fun to be had in my uterus last night. There was so much sloshing and “splashing” going on down there it was really funny. And while it was very subtle I could definitely feel a soft pressure on my lower abdomen while listening to the aerobics going on, so I think I am feeling the Peep moving around. It’s still so soft, that if I wasn’t paying attention I wouldn’t really notice it. It’s almost as if it is coming from far away and is still very faint. I know that might not make any sense, but that it what it brings to mind for me. It was actually quite amusing! I spent a number of hours last night going through photographs and putting them into piles by year. So far they go from 1983 through 1997, but then I still have about 5 more boxes to go through. I am amazed at how thin I used to be, and yet I always thought I was so fat! Granted there was one 2 year stretch when I know I was extremely thin but terribly unhealthy -- I was jogging almost daily but hardly eating at all, maybe one small meal all day. Even then I thought my butt was too big. Ack!! I’d say that’s about as close to anorexia as I ever came. Probably too close. It makes me really sad though, that I spent so much of my youth obsessed about my weight, when really I looked fine – heck, more than fine, I looked good. Granted, ever since puberty, I always had some extra meat on my thighs and behind. Always! Even at my thinnest (around 100 lbs – I’m only 5’1” tall) I still had extra pockets on my thighs. It makes me sick though, that all that time I could never be happy with my body and that I would not participate in some activities because I was embarrassed about my weight. How sad is that? It didn’t help that my mom always helped me pick out clothes that would “hide my butt.” I’m not blaming my mom, but that certainly didn’t help. My weight has always been a struggle, but it wasn’t until the last 4 years that it really starting inching up. Really, it didn’t get really bad until I stopped the birth control pills just a few years ago. (I was on them for many years due to extremely heavy periods –looking back that could have been a sign of PCOS right there.) This makes sense to me now that I know more about PCOS, since being on the birth control pills helped to keep my hormones in check and the moment I stopped them, my weight increased dramatically although my diet didn’t change. I suppose from now on my weight will always be a struggle, but I’m no longer letting my weight or my concerns about how I look keep me from doing the things I want to. I don’t like all the extra weight I’m carrying around, but I’m not going to stop enjoying things because of being concerned about how people perceive me. Now please don’t start sending me tips for weight loss or try to talk me into doing Weight Watchers or some other diet. I’m well aware of what is healthy and how exercise is key and all that. I’m not ignorant of these facts, after all I’ve been losing (and gaining weight) for over 20 years! Besides, right now I’m just trying to eat as healthy as possible. Fortunately my sweet tooth has disappeared and I really only desire things that are mostly healthy. I’m not saying I don’t occasionally indulge in some kind of fast food (but very rarely since it doesn’t appeal to me), but for the most part I think I’m eating a very healthy, balanced diet. What I do need to do is start walking more. The weather has just not been too conducive for that yet. I’d also like to start swimming more regularly again. I find it rather funny to read about Sherry’s change in cravings since they are the exact reverse of mine. I find it even more amusing since we are both due just a week apart. She writes: One thing that has changed as far as my appetite goes since becoming pregnant is that I want sweet things a lot more than I ever used to. Cake, cookies, pie (oh PIE), anything like that. If it has sugar in it then I probably want it, and if it's got icing on top of it, then I definitely want it.I on the other hand, have gone from having the kind of sweet tooth that Sherry is experiencing, to finding most sweet things “too sweet”, something I never used to say before. Instead, I’d rather eat a turkey sandwich than a piece of cake. When I want something sweet, I’d rather eat a piece of fruit. I baked a pan of Banana Bars, ate two of them, found them too sweet and froze the rest. Very weird for me. Fortunately, my cravings haven’t been for chips and dip though, I tend to want something more “substantial” like a sandwich or some soup. My only “bad” craving is for green garlic olives. I could eat those by the jar, but try to hold back because of all the sodium. Well, tomorrow is the big ultrasound!!! I’m nervous and excited at the same time. I’m nervous that they might find something wrong, but excited to see my Peep again and hopefully find out the sex. I also have my 16 week OB appointment and the blood draw for the quad-screen. Of course, it will take a few days to get the results from the quad-screen so I’m sure that will be a difficult wait again. I just hope I don’t test positive and have to consider an amniocentesis. So today is your last chance to vote on the sex! Go do it, if you haven’t already!
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