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Saturday, Jun. 01, 2002 - 4:28 p.m. - A Letter to Our Peep
My Dear Little Peep! This was entry was started on May 26th and completed on June 1 Just 4 days ago we were lucky to see you again when we went in for another ultrasound. I am 24 weeks pregnant with you, a milestone in a way, because I am told that at this point you would have a chance of surviving if you were born early. You don’t know how wonderful reaching that goal with you has meant to me. That’s not to say that I’m still not scared constantly that something will happen to you before we ever get the chance to meet, we want to meet you and for you to meet us so very much. I look at each week beyond this one as another gift, a week for you to grow stronger and even more healthy for that day when we do finally get to look each other in the eyes. The good news is that you are looking so healthy and right on target for now. I get so worried that my body isn’t providing you a suitable home to grow in, since I have so many medical issues, but it looks like you are thriving in spite of them. I’ll continue to do my best to give you the best possible start that I can. The doctor even said that it looked like you might go full term, but your paranoid mommy is glad that they are going to keep checking in on you with ultrasounds every four weeks for now. Not only that, but then we get to see you again! My how you have grown since our last pictures of you! You weren’t as active this time, but you were sucking on your toes, playing with your feet, covering your face with your arm (daddy said you looked just like I do when I’m sleeping!), opening your mouth and kicking some with your feet. I wonder if the ultrasound bothered you though, because you were so incredibly active for the rest of the day. I don’t know what you were doing, but you were busy kicking and stretching and making your presence known. As yet your kicks don’t really hurt, so I love each and every one of them. They are like your little reminder to me that say “hey, I’m in here, don’t forget about me.” (As if I ever could!) With each day, week and month that pass your daddy and I are getting more excited to meet you!!! I keep counting down the days as if counting them will make the time pass more quickly. Yet, we still have so many things to take care of yet and do before you arrive, so I guess it is a good thing that we still have some time before we meet. Besides, you need the time to grow even stronger, learn how to do a few more things before we get to meet you. I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize your health, but boy are we anxious for you to be in our arms! Written June 1, 2002 Just this morning I was walking around out bedroom, opening the blinds and throwing open the windows to catch some of the breezes of this gorgeous day. While doing this I had to worm my way around the glider rocker and ottoman and wiggle past your half-built crib (we can’t finish it until it is in your room since it won’t fit through the doorway otherwise). While standing at the window I started thinking of how today was so beautiful and so much like the spring days we had last year at this time. Then I started thinking about how a year ago I was still recovering or had just recovered from my surgery and how the dream of getting pregnant was still in my upper most thoughts. Then I looked around the room at all the furniture for your nursery and the little pink outfit your daddy gave me for Mother’s Day that is still hanging on our bed (I like to see it when I wake up in the morning) and tears started flowing from my eyes. I couldn’t believe how lucky I am to be expecting you, feeling you move inside me, anticipating holding you in my arms and dressing you in that little pink outfit. Just one year ago I was so terribly sad at the thought of never experiencing the very things I am able to experience now. You already bring me so much happiness. You are my little Peep. My little girl. My hopes. My dreams come true. I wonder if you will ever understand just how very much you were wanted and how much you are loved. Your room is almost done. Your Oma has spent hours and hours painting the walls to please you. We talk about how we will rock you and tell you stories from the pictures on the wall. Some of the pictures have a flavor of German influence about them and we did this on purpose so that you might know and understand a little of your German background. Remind me to try and speak a lot of German with you and sing you German songs. You might not always like it, but believe me you will appreciate it when you are my age and you can speak and understand another language. I’m going to ask your Oma and Opa to speak lots of German with you too, and read you German stories and books. One day I hope to take you to Germany with me to meet your 2nd and 3rd cousins and other wonderful friends. There are so many people waiting to meet you and wishing you a happy life. My head sometimes spins when I think of all the people who write to me and tell me that they are thinking about me and wishing me well in my pregnancy. We are so very lucky. Well, my little Peep. I hope this gives you just a hint of how much we want and love you already. Your daddy and I are thankful each and everyday to be expecting you. We know a day might come where you resent us, or heaven forbid, tell us that you never asked to be born, but we hope that maybe when you read these words you’ll know just what it took to get you here and that we would have done anything for you to be born. We love you our little Peep.
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