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Saturday, Oct. 25, 2002 - 11:55 pm - Miscelany
Time is passing much too quickly and there just isn’t enough of it to do all the things I’d like to do. I know this is a common complaint of mine, but it seems particularly true these days. How can it be that my baby is already 7 weeks old? How is it that my birthday is already here again (October 26)? How can it be that we’ve owned our home for 2 years already? A year ago I was in the midst of my IVF cycle, still dreaming of a baby of my own, and here I am holding her snug to me in the Baby Bjorn as I type this. How can it be that Michael has already been unemployed for over a year? Thanksgiving and Christmas will be here before I know it! Can we please just SLOW DOWN TIME?!! Granted, I do sort of know where time is going…it’s being soaked up in taking care of my sweet Alyssa Arianna and it couldn’t be better used. Yet it still amazes Michael and I just how fast time disappears when doing something “simple” like giving her a bath or changing her clothes. I swear I can’t get out of my house before 11:00 am no matter what time I get up at. Even if I get up at 7:30 am, it just means that I manage to actually get a shower or some laundry thrown in the washer before leaving for whatever appointment I might have. Today I didn’t manage to get out of the house until 3:00 pm!!! (And it just took me 3 hours to write those two paragraphs!) Between diapers, breastfeeding and just trying to keep Alyssa happy, time just drains away. I didn’t even eat anything today until around 1:00 pm! Sheesh! Despite all of that, having my little “dream come true” finally is worth all that work and more. I know I’m terribly behind in email and thank you notes and haven’t even had a chance to order my baby announcements (going to try and do that after completing this), but all that just doesn’t matter as much as taking the time to enjoy my baby right now. She’s growing so fast, I don’t want to miss a moment. Granted, she doesn’t give me much opportunity to miss many moments since she is a very, very demanding baby. During the day she’s pretty much unhappy unless she is being held. Fortunately I do have a Baby Bjorn that I received from a friend and it is a huge help. Some readers wrote to ask me if I have a sling, which I don’t as of yet; and while I do have a pouch a fellow journaler and mommy made for me, Alyssa has already outgrown it. We did use it from time to time and it worked very well sometimes and not so well at others. I’m thinking about purchasing a sling or maya wrap though, but that will have to wait for a while due to money issues around here. Speaking of money issues around here… I am currently all by myself with the Peep since Michael is in Alabama interviewing for a job! He actually had the interview today but hasn’t called me to tell me how it went yet. Well, actually he called while I was out but when I tried to call him he was out, so I’m still waiting to hear. I have to admit I’m feeling a little mixed about this job. On the one hand, it would be nice for him to finally have work and for us to have an income again. On the other hand, the job would be in Alabama. The plan at this point is for the Peep and I to stay here in the house while Michael goes to Alabama and finds himself a cheap apartment. We both want to give the new job a few months first to see how he likes it and with the hope that he can still find something here in Seattle before making a major move across the country. I must admit it would break my heart to move away from my parents and family, especially now that Alyssa is here. I know that people do it all the time, but I have such a close relationship with my parents, and especially my mother, and I want my daughter to grow up near her grandparents, uncle and aunts and cousins. Not to mention, all that free babysitting and help from my parents. (grin) But seriously, I see the kind of relationship my parents have with my nephews and I want the same for my child. Anyone who has met my mom knows and SAYS that she is the quintessential grandmother, and she really is. It would be a small crime to take my child away from that kind of relationship – both for her and for my mom! In other news, I took Alyssa to meet the people who played a key role in getting her here. She didn’t appear very appreciative when meeting Dr. J, as the photo below shows though. Everyone at the office was excited to meet her. They had all seen ultrasound pictures of her when she was just a 6 week embryo, so they were excited to see the “end results.” It was fun to show her off and share my happiness and thanks with them all. I will miss my regular visits to that office, though I’m not sorry to not have to do any treatments for a while. Perhaps we’ll be fortunate enough to try for #2 with the same wonderful people.
Please excuse the way my journal site looks at the moment. I realize none of my images are showing up. I want to fix it as soon as I can, but as I mentioned before, time is hard to come by. I’ll get it fixed one of these days soon! Oh, and Alyssa is starting to smile more now. She’s particularly smiley in the morning and often her smiles are accompanied by gurgles and coos. It’s just the sweetest thing in the whole world!! I revel in those moments! Sadly, the evenings are filled with a lot of screaming – my little Angel seems to either be a colicky baby! We’ve really tried everything, but for the most part, she will scream for a good hour and a half each night. It’s pretty wearing on us and I’m a little anxious about how I’m going to handle it if Michael gets the job in Alabama and I’m all alone with her. We’ve tried warm baths, walking with her, music, rocking, swinging, Mylicon gas drops, my cutting out dairy and gripe water. The gripe water does seem to help, but getting it down her is almost as bad as what we are trying to cure! I keep reminding myself that this won’t last forever, but at times it is really, really hard. Between this colic and her wanting to be held all the time I’ve been pretty worn out, and still through it all I’m so thrilled to have her and each day I thank my lucky stars to have her in our lives. I know how many other infertile couples out there who would gladly give up a little sleep and personal time to have what we do. I am very, very aware of that and don’t take my good fortune for granted. And for your enjoyment, a few pictures I took of Alyssa on her 7 week birthday. (That’s a gummy smile in one of them.)
Also don’t forget to check out my weblog for more frequent updates and notes!
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